Life of Ryan

My sister: Want to have a little wine with me tomorrow?
Me: Do you even need to ask?

compro, luego existo

I ended up falling asleep at like 4:30AM, my friend Lauren called me a million times to wake me up, woke up at 6AM, called her back but then she had fallen asleep…so I left, drove 80mph on the freeway blasting her music, got to Best Buy in like 10 minutes only to see hundreds and hundreds of people outside. People had actually been camping out all night just to meet her. I waited in line, then at 8AM security said they only had 400 passes and they ran out. FFFFFUUUU

There were some interesting people there, let me tell you. Here are some things I heard while waiting in line:
“OH NO! I’m going to have a camel toe when I meet her!”
“Gurrl I will cut a bitch.”
“What are we here for? Are we more thankful for Lady GaGa or our mothers?”
“Ugh, my weave fell out last night.”
“I’m going to throw up.” “Girl, don’t do it, just swallow it.”
“I hope she fingers me.”

Hot messes.

[Don’t judge me, I fucking love her] Lady GaGa is doing an album signing at a Best Buy in LA. I’m going at 5AM so I can get a spot in line which starts at 7AM, wait until 10AM when the store opens, then buy her album/pass for the signing. This might be a very bad life choice.

Apparently, there are only 250 passes available. Someone is going to die. Let’s hope I’m not the poor gay fan that gets trampled to death.